“Be Curious, Not Judgmental” – Walt Whitman
The other day on my phone a video came up with a Ted Lasso (TV Show) short clip. Ted Lasso was in a dart game where he needed to score two triple 20s and a bulls eye to win the match (almost impossible) against a very skilled English dart player. The assumption was that he was a typical American who didn’t know a thing about darts. Then Ted starts telling the story of how in his life all these fellas use to underestimate him. Then one day he saw this saying painted on a wall – “Be Curious, Not Judgmental” – Walt Whitman. Then he thought about all those fellas who continually belittled him, not a one of them were curious about who he was, only to judge him for what they thought.
Then he says, just like this dart game, no one asked me if I ever played darts before (just assuming he didn’t play). He then lets them know that since the age of 10 till he was 16, his dad took him every Sunday to go play darts at the local bar where he became proficient. He then hits two triple 20s and a bulls eye to win the match!
In the early days of SCV, Gail Royer would often come over to our house to talk to my father about issues he was having. My dad was always heavily involved with politics and in those days, people would come seek advice or just talk to get ideas. I didn’t actually realize how involved my dad was in politics till I started seeing pictures of him with folks like Ronald Reagan (then Governor), Pat Brown, Cesar Chavez, Robert Kennedy, and other people. My dad had the knack of knowing the pulse of a community or an issue.
In those days Gail never knocked on our front door, he would just walk in, went straight to my dad’s liquor cabinet, pour himself a drink and then go over to the kitchen table, sit himself down and light up a cigarette. My mom would be cooking dinner and they would start talking and I would always be in the living room sitting in front of the couch (never on the couch) doing my homework. He would wait for my dad to arrive home from work and then they would get into some heavy discussions. I should have listened more to what they were talking about but most of the time I mainly focused on my homework.
Looking back, I should have been nosier because much of their discussion was about the Santa Clara Vanguard. Gail was creating this new drum corps and was seeking advice in particular areas.
One day I actually did sort of side listen in and heard my dad ask Gail (“Be Curious”), “so why did you start this drum and bugle corps?” Gail’s answer, one year I was judging brass and I gave the Chicago Cavaliers a really low horn score. The horn staff of the Cavaliers went berserk and the head brass guy blew up at me. Gail said he stuck to his guns and told them why he scored the winning corps over the Cavaliers. The heated discussion finally came to an end when the Cavalier senior horn instructor, a man named Salvatore Ferrera (everyone called him “Sal”) yelled at Gail, “If you think you’re so smart then why don’t you go start your own drum corps and do what we do!” which was probably the wrong thing to say to Gail Royer. Maybe it was judgmental of Sal thinking Gail wouldn’t do that but Gail said he took Sal’s words to heart.
Gail Royer DID go start a drum and bugle corps and five years later, Sal’s words came back to haunt him. That drum corps Gail built went on to beat Sal’s Cavaliers from that point on. Like Ted Lasso, Gail hit a major bulls eye! Be curious, not judgmental!
Best to all!!!
-JJA